oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
