i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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