i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
