Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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