I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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