Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
