either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
