the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
