It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
worst night to have a conscience
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
