and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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