A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
