I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
