I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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