We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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