I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
