Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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