There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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