Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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