I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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