This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
