hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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