im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
