My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
