I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
