For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
