508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
