thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
its liver damage thursday
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
