I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
