so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
