I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
