According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
