Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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