Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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