ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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