your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
