Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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