I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You were trust falling into bushes
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
