I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
