Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
