Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
