I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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