Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
