Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
did you just send me my own nude
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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