East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
