when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
