If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
bring money and cleavage
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i would one night stand the shit outta him
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
