like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
