Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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