Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
