did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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