He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
