He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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