somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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