Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
