New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
